HOW TO BE PERFECT!

I have my moments just like everyone else... those moments where you feel like it is just a bit too much and you just want to give in or give up. The days where you feel like the world is against you and you just cant see how things are ever going to get better. The days that you are so busy looking down that you cant see the brilliant light at the end of that tunnel. In the past year I have had a couple of those moments. I am 24 years old, unemployed and a single mother of one. To be honest I never thought I would end up here and if you confronted my old school buddies and asked who was the least likely to be in this position they would say me. I always envisioned a person with such a description to be barefoot, pregnant, no bra, a cigarette in one hand and a Bundy Rum in the other. I’m not that girl. When I saw those two little lines pop up on that plastic stick I was terrified. I was ‘off’ with my on again off again boyfriend when I found out. I quickly called him, crying into the phone, and told him our news. He was over joyed at the idea of being a father, he promised he would change his unruly ways and said we should get back together and go through this as a couple... so we did. Six months after our beautiful son was born we split. Now what does this story have to do with being perfect? It was my beautiful son Beau who actually helped me realise the true meaning of being perfect. For those of you who have children know the amazing power a child has over you as soon as they are born. The love that en-captures you is completely out of this world and is something that you do not know you are even capable of feeling. This love is something so divine and pure and it grows with every little breath they take. You could forgive them anything, you would do everything in your power to protect them, accommodate their every need and help them on their way to happiness without even blinking an eye. I used to be obsessed with the idea of perfection. Everything I did and everything I said I used to do it with 'what other people think' in mind. Everything I did had to be perfect in such a way that if it wasn't I was not happy. I was not even happy if I missed out on my 'projection of perfection' by even a millimetre. I used to make myself sick with worry, I was never satisfied and I stayed in situations where I shouldn't have just because I believed in an awful and stereotypical definition of perfection. I am not perfect. No one is or ever will be. But I strive for perfection every day. Here is the real definition of perfection that you should live by... perfection is: doing your best. That's it. You have to come to a point in your life where you realise you will never be perfect because as you grow and change, your idea of perfection will change also, so you just have to keep striving for perfection but at the same time understand that you will never get there. Throughout your life you will continually grow as a person. You will come across circumstances and situations every day that teach you life lessons and if you are wise you will learn from them instead of feeling life is against you and continuously looking down and failing (or even in some peoples case refusing!) to see the light. You are constantly expanding your knowledge and being educated so something you considered perfect a year ago might not be perfect to you now because your goals have gotten bigger and your mind has expanded in such a way that it has also changed. Perfection is SUBJECTIVE. Take what you think your 'perfect' life would be and strive for that every day. You might change your mind in a year but that's fine! Mine did! I went from the idea of perfection being a working woman who would use her 20's to buy a house and make money which would help support my husband and I when we decided to have children in our mid 30's! Now my idea of perfection is being the perfect Mother, provider and role model to my son! Circumstances changed and I have learnt and grown. Not all ideas and goals change as drastically but remember there is no such thing as a perfect anyone or anything. Its just you striving to do your best at any given moment. I truly believe that if you know this it takes away a lot of the pressure and the illusion of what people think is perfection disappears because what is perfect is that you try your hardest to strive towards the things you believe are good and the things you want. That is perfection- doing your best. As one of my all time favourite authors, Don Miguel Ruiz, Says “your best will change from day to day because as we all know we have good days and bad”. Hence doing your best means doing your best in your situation and emotional state at that time. Now I understand this... I am no longer sick, lethargic or have headaches from constantly disappointing myself because I am not perfect. I love my life and my son and I am enjoying the ride and learning from the lessons and educating myself on how to be the best I can be. That is my idea of perfection. When I do have my moments of 'hopelessness' I look up and see the light which reminds me that I am stronger than I know and that these lessons are to be learnt from and let go which helps me in my continual life education so I can keep on striving for perfection! I hope you now also have a better understanding of perfection and you untie the knots that hold you to the old idea, release yourself to the winds of life, embrace yourself flaws and all and do the best and be the best you can be at any given moment. Now that is the true meaning of perfection. Stay fabulous! X
CLE