It has come up. It was bound to come up. I do realise that and I am hoping that I am writing this not to justify my actions to you but to maybe get you thinking or even to set an example. But as usual I am getting ahead of myself!
I posted an article on my facebook wall about size zero models and how I actually disagree with it which prompted someone to mention that it was "Hard to read that and see Alex Perry in your profile pic. He's the poster boy for size zero.” Which, don't get me wrong, is a fair statement! You can read all about my thoughts in regards to the fashion industry being blamed for poor body image in Australia HERE. I have also been asked recently as to how I can be a Life Coach through the week and then cover fashion events on the weekend as a fashion blogger?
My answer to both of those is: PERCEPTION. Everything in our lives and whether it is good or bad is about our perception. The most simple and overused but underrated example of this being: is your glass half full or half empty? To me the fashion industry is not a big money fuelled, soul sucking, humanity destroying industry. It is an industry of self expression, innocence, beauty, fun and glamour which gives us new ways every season to express ourselves! Now before you jump up and down and say 'but Casey it promotes bad body image and new clothes come out every season just to make money'. That statement is fine and if you want that to be your perception then that is completely your choice. If you would like another point of view on the body image debate I suggest you go HERE and in regards to clothes coming out every season just to make money (I have heard this so many times!) you are implying 1. That it is wrong to make money (which it is not, if you provide a service you are entitled to make money from it) and 2. That everyone goes out every season and buys every piece straight from the runway. I don't know anyone who does that, all people do is buy a few new pieces every season to add to their collection of unique style. The fashion industry is also known for their drug culture and putting pressure on models to be skinny but what industry isn't known for a certain degree of drug culture and the perceived pressure to have the 'ideal image'.
You can perceive any industry as good or bad it is your choice but if you choose the optimistic out look you will gain so much more freedom and you will contribute to the positivity of that industry. The bad side of any industry is not due to the industry itself, it is due to the lack of faith and self worth people have in our culture and in many cultures all over the world. The negative paradigms that have wormed their way into our heads and have taken up residence saying we are no good and worth nothing so we give into peer pressure or commit crimes looking for acceptance instead of looking to the only person we need acceptance from and that is... ourselves.
We judge other people, situations and circumstances every single minute of every single day. We are never going to stop doing it and nor should we. We are observant beings who take part in this magnificent world! When we make a judgement it is extremely important to recognise whether this judgement is coming from a place of pessimistic insecurity or optimistic knowledge. There really never is any real reason to say a harsh word against or to anyone. As Napoleon Hill points out "If you believe someone is good you will find good qualities. If you don't, you wont.". If you are a positive person who has even a small amount of control over your thoughts because you have worked to understand why you have certain thoughts or say certain things, you will look for the good in people, situations and circumstances.
If you find something or someone that doesn't feel right to you then instead of feeling the need to label them bad and bring that label you have bestowed on them to their attention which just placates hurt and negativity, you have the choice to remove it from your attention. It is as simple as that. If we could all learn to take our attention away from the things that distress us and turn it to the things that make us happy then we would all feel so much more safe in our skin. If we respected ourselves we would not have 'tall poppy syndrome' or gossip magazines because our attention would be focused on ourselves and when we did hear or read someone else's story we would feel happy for their success or empathy for their loss and in no way feel the need to point out a 'perceived negative'.
My picture of Alex Perry and I in my profile picture is not merely there as a 'look at me I am with Alex Perry' picture. I have it there because I not only love his designs, it also marks a very special milestone for me in my career. The shy, reserved girl I was when I first started in the industry was put aside that night and I made a conscious effort to put myself in the shoes of the confident, professional and intelligent woman I wanted to be. To go up to Alex Perry, an icon in the industry I was trying to make my mark on, and ask him for the photograph was a huge feat for me at that time. I got home on a huge high, proud as punch at the fact that I had the confidence to go up to him and ask! Even if he had said no I still would have been exceptionally proud of the fact that I pushed my limits! If the event was a month earlier there is no way I would have asked and I would have gone home disappointed I didn't have the confidence to 'put myself out there', so to speak.
I, like many people, am working hard on my goals, dreams and especially on myself. To try and reverse the years of negative self talk takes time and effort. It takes effort to remember to do it and time to educate myself on how to reverse it in the first place. It requires constant attention to your thoughts and actions. I make sure I catch myself when judging someone from that place of insecurity and ask myself why am I doing it? The answer is always there! And because of these conscious efforts I am happy to say that I am proud to be the woman I am today and will wake up as tomorrow which gives me the confidence to live more and shy away less!
So before you judge someone in any industry, be it a football player, politician or a fashion blogger, ask yourself... is my glass half empty?
Stay fabulous!
CLE
