IS YOUR GLASS HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY?

It has come up. It was bound to come up. I do realise that and I am hoping that I am writing this not to justify my actions to you but to maybe get you thinking or even to set an example. But as usual I am getting ahead of myself!

I posted an article on my facebook wall about size zero models and how I actually disagree with it which prompted someone to mention that it was "Hard to read that and see Alex Perry in your profile pic. He's the poster boy for size zero.” Which, don't get me wrong, is a fair statement! You can read all about my thoughts in regards to the fashion industry being blamed for poor body image in Australia HERE. I have also been asked recently as to how I can be a Life Coach through the week and then cover fashion events on the weekend as a fashion blogger?

My answer to both of those is: PERCEPTION. Everything in our lives and whether it is good or bad is about our perception. The most simple and overused but underrated example of this being: is your glass half full or half empty? To me the fashion industry is not a big money fuelled, soul sucking, humanity destroying industry. It is an industry of self expression, innocence, beauty, fun and glamour which gives us new ways every season to express ourselves! Now before you jump up and down and say 'but Casey it promotes bad body image and new clothes come out every season just to make money'. That statement is fine and if you want that to be your perception then that is completely your choice. If you would like another point of view on the body image debate I suggest you go HERE and in regards to clothes coming out every season just to make money (I have heard this so many times!) you are implying 1. That it is wrong to make money (which it is not, if you provide a service you are entitled to make money from it) and 2. That everyone goes out every season and buys every piece straight from the runway. I don't know anyone who does that, all people do is buy a few new pieces every season to add to their collection of unique style. The fashion industry is also known for their drug culture and putting pressure on models to be skinny but what industry isn't known for a certain degree of drug culture and the perceived pressure to have the 'ideal image'.

You can perceive any industry as good or bad it is your choice but if you choose the optimistic out look you will gain so much more freedom and you will contribute to the positivity of that industry. The bad side of any industry is not due to the industry itself, it is due to the lack of faith and self worth people have in our culture and in many cultures all over the world. The negative paradigms that have wormed their way into our heads and have taken up residence saying we are no good and worth nothing so we give into peer pressure or commit crimes looking for acceptance instead of looking to the only person we need acceptance from and that is... ourselves.

We judge other people, situations and circumstances every single minute of every single day. We are never going to stop doing it and nor should we. We are observant beings who take part in this magnificent world! When we make a judgement it is extremely important to recognise whether this judgement is coming from a place of pessimistic insecurity or optimistic knowledge. There really never is any real reason to say a harsh word against or to anyone. As Napoleon Hill points out "If you believe someone is good you will find good qualities. If you don't, you wont.". If you are a positive person who has even a small amount of control over your thoughts because you have worked to understand why you have certain thoughts or say certain things, you will look for the good in people, situations and circumstances. 

If you find something or someone that doesn't feel right to you then instead of feeling the need to label them bad and bring that label you have bestowed on them to their attention which just placates hurt and negativity, you have the choice to remove it from your attention. It is as simple as that. If we could all learn to take our attention away from the things that distress us and turn it to the things that make us happy then we would all feel so much more safe in our skin. If we respected ourselves we would not have 'tall poppy syndrome' or gossip magazines because our attention would be focused on ourselves and when we did hear or read someone else's story we would feel happy for their success or empathy for their loss and in no way feel the need to point out a 'perceived negative'.

My picture of Alex Perry and I in my profile picture is not merely there as a 'look at me I am with Alex Perry' picture. I have it there because I not only love his designs, it also marks a very special milestone for me in my career. The shy, reserved girl I was when I first started in the industry was put aside that night and I made a conscious effort to put myself in the shoes of the confident, professional and intelligent woman I wanted to be. To go up to Alex Perry, an icon in the industry I was trying to make my mark on, and ask him for the photograph was a huge feat for me at that time. I got home on a huge high, proud as punch at the fact that I had the confidence to go up to him and ask! Even if he had said no I still would have been exceptionally proud of the fact that I pushed my limits! If the event was a month earlier there is no way I would have asked and I would have gone home disappointed I didn't have the confidence to 'put myself out there', so to speak. 

I, like many people, am working hard on my goals, dreams and especially on myself. To try and reverse the years of negative self talk takes time and effort. It takes effort to remember to do it and time to educate myself on how to reverse it in the first place. It requires constant attention to your thoughts and actions. I make sure I catch myself when judging someone from that place of insecurity and ask myself why am I doing it? The answer is always there! And because of these conscious efforts I am happy to say that I am proud to be the woman I am today and will wake up as tomorrow which gives me the confidence to live more and shy away less!

So before you judge someone in any industry, be it a football player, politician or a fashion blogger, ask yourself... is my glass half empty?

Stay fabulous!

CLE

ROSS SCUTTS- ENTREPRENEUR- INTERVIEW

Last week when explaining to a PR manager what my blog entailed, I was so happy to say that my blog is one of motivation and inspiration, not one of gossip and slander. When the words came out of my mouth I was shocked and proud all at once! That is something I had worked really hard on, keeping my blog motivational and inspirational, and to be able to say that and the blog be tangle proof of that made me so proud! Recently I made the decision to write more motivational and inspirational pieces as I want to contribute as much as I can to our magnificent world and I am lucky enough that I can write a blog from my little corner and have a couple of people read it and hopefully motivate them to go for their dreams!

One of the best ways to help motivate people is to show you that there are people, just like you and I, who are striving for their goals and dreams and are successful at doing so! Success stories are mind food and motivate us to go for our dreams... because if they can do it... so can you! 

Ross Scutts is a perfect example of what I am talking about. Ross, a Brisbane man in his early twenties, not only understands the importance of setting goals, but for taking action! Which in turn has created the success he is after! On the 26th of March I will be attending a workshop which Ross has put together for young entrepreneurs to arm them with the best artillery you will ever have in your inventory- KNOWLEDGE. You can never ever stop learning and if you want to be, do and have what YOU want then I suggest you constantly seek out such events, books and CD's to help you on your journey! I am so excited to be attending this work shop and I will be blogging all about it for you so keep an eye out!

*****

ROSS SCUTTS

Ross Scutts

When did you decide you wanted to become entrepreneurial?  

To be honest, I don’t believe I ever made the conscious decision to become an entrepreneur but I do recall the time that I decided that I wouldn’t settle for less than what I want and what I know I can become which was when I was 18 and I opened my first personal development book (also the first book I was to read cover to cover, including books from school) Awaken the Giant Within By Anthony Robbins.  

What have you done so far to realise your dream of becoming an entrepreneur?  

To date I have started 4 businesses and sold them, sold over 35 franchises either for my own business or for other companies, I have started and currently own Australias first and only Luxury supercar rally (Auzrun) held every year and have also secured a deal with a long term mentor to purchase 50% of the soon to be American arm of Auzrun.

How have you educated yourself? 

From books, to Seminar’s to DVD’s to CD’s to even cassette and VHS tapes and most importantly surrounding myself with mentors and role models.  I find out of all of the learning I have done, the best is from the group of people that I surround myself with as they are the living and breathing evidence that you can be, do, see or feel whatever you desire, you just need to DO.

What do you think the most important steps to becoming an entrepreneur are?  

That’s a challenging one and I am not 100% sure if this is the most important step but it’s the one that I have recently learnt (in the past year) that I believe is at least one of the most important steps, and that is Delivery.  What I mean by delivery is simply delivering on your promise, your product, your service or even your own personal goals and dreams to the level that you originally set out to do.  I have found that a lot of people who fail in life simply don’t deliver and those who are role models, leaders and a success in their chosen fields are those who simply deliver. Another major step that I can honestly say has helped me achieve the majority of my business success is (provided the first is being done and can be done) selling your story and make it inspiring so that you make people want to be a part of it.

Ross Scutts

Who are your inspirations and why?   

I have a number of inspirations in my life, some I am close friends with, some I haven’t met and some are even fictional characters.  Some of the people that I am fortunate to call my friends, mentors and roll models are Phillip Di Bella from Di Bella Coffee, this guy started Di Bella Coffee 8 years ago and was last year awarded QLD young Entrepreneur of the year, he has built his company up from $5,000 to a $65 million empire and is now expanding internationally.  He is a true inspiration that I get to have regular contact with and am truly fortunate for it as the guy is a true example of what it means to be an entrepreneur! 

Another mentor and role model of mine is Bradley J Sugars.  He started the company Action COACH (formally Action International), the worlds largest business coaching company.  They have 1,200+ Business Coaches world wide and are regularly rated in the 100 best Franchise systems in the world as well as a number of times cracking the 50 top fastest growing franchises world wide.  A great inspiration to have around and be able to give a call and ask a questions.

Ross Scutts with Mentor Bradely J Sugars and partner Ellie Gonsalves.

 Others who I have only been able to connect with through their books and seminars are Sir Richard Branson and Donald Trump.  Both of whom have been on the verge of bankruptcy and have bounced back impressively to have net worths in excess of $2.5 billion.  They both do business differently to one another which just goes to show, there ARE many ways to succeed in business, it all comes down to how YOU want to succeed in business and the type of person you want to be.

Some of the fictional characters would include Bruce Wayne and of course Tony Stark (Iron Man), probably not so much from an entrepreneurial or educational point of view, clearly, but from an enjoyment and fun point of view. Knowing how to reward yourself for your hard work is just as important as working hard and succeeding, you need to enjoy life and embrace your acheivements 

What are your plans for the future?

  In the short term, my partner Ellie and I are moving to the US to set up the American arm of Auzrun and for us to pursue our goals and dreams which should see me hit the BRW Young Rich list by the time I am 30 (6 years).  As well as the constant development and running of the Young Entrepreneurs Club and expanding that internationally. Business wise I plan on constantly learning, growing and educating myself from those who have done it bigger and better than what I have so that I can become all that I can enabling me to share even more with people who also want to learn.

Where do you see yourself in ten years? 

In 10 years time I see myself living in the US, retired (or be in the position to be able to retire) and starting a family with my incredible partner Ellie.  In reality this is the number one driving force for me in all my business endeavours, to be in a position to provide for my family, that I do not need to work and don’t ever need to work, I like to make work a choice and not just a necessity.  Like anything in life that you invest a lot of your time in, you should be doing it all for worthwhile and predetermined reasons that are set by you (meaning you are the driving force behind what you are doing, not what others have told you or are making you do and you know why you are doing it) and this is one of my major goals.  Realisticlly, I personally don’t think I will ever be able to fully ‘retire’ as keeping your mind active is like going to the gym for your mind.

Ross Scutts and Ellie Gonsalves.

  

Any advice for aspiring entrepreneurs?  

Surround yourself with other like-minded people who want similar things to you and then also surround yourself with people who are further up the ladder than you are.  This is one of the reasons why I have put together The Young Entrepreneurs Club.  It is the first club specifically aimed at under 30 year old aspiring entrepreneurs and current entrepreneurs who want to surround themselves on a monthly basis with other like minded, passionate and driven entrepreneurs meeting monthly in groups of 10 and having the confidence of sharing everything that is going on in their life’s knowing that it never leaves the room. I think these are the two most important things for aspiring entrepreneurs to follow. 


http://www.auzrun.com

*****

Thank you Ross! You are truly an inspiration!

Stay fabulous!

CLE

Just Say Me

After watching a hilariously funny episode of my new favourite 'mindless crap' tv show The Secret Life of an American Teenager titled “Just Say Me” I was left thinking and intrigued by the idea of masturbation. In this particular episode, based around a bunch of strangely intelligent and articulate teenagers including a teenage mother, a Christian girl, a 'slut' and their boyfriends that trapse along for the ride, the girls discuss how having sex has got them into so much trouble. It got Amy pregnant at 15, it got Grace kicked out of her Christian celibacy group and Adrian uses it as a tool for revenge, which she apparently regrets. So they decided instead of worrying about sex with boys any more they would masturbate but instead of calling it the ugly 'M' word they decided to call it “Just Say Me”.

It was so strange to see it on tv as it was something that was rarely talked about by anyone until Sex and The City certainly threw the topic of female masturbation into the mainstream and to be honest I'm quite glad they did. It opened up women to the idea that it was ok to 'just say me', men do it and it is common knowledge that men do it, so why cant women? I love the 'rabbit intervention' episode of Sex and the City, it is hilarious and there was nothing smutty or vulgar about it. Yet in saying this and the steps that female masturbation has taken up the 'topic of conversation' ladder it still seems to provoke anxiety in men and women alike. The Oprah Winfrey show did a segment on educating women on the benefits of feeling sexually alive, and calling attention to masturbation's role, biochemically and emotionally. It received terrible reviews, degrading and chastising the women who were brave enough to talk about their own masturbation experiences on the show and this was in 2008, ten years after the SATC 'Rabbit' episode opened up the topic to the world.

The psychoanalyst behind womensrealities.com Joyce McFaden did a study in 2008 and she stated that

“Women still experience guilt and shame around masturbation. 70% of the respondents to my study felt guilty, and 80% of them were never taught about it as a normal aspect of human sexuality - with a surprising 4/5 of those women being under the age of 35 and raised by mothers of the post feminist era. 88% of them reported a strong desire to hear other women's thoughts and feelings on masturbation, with most of them responding yes and absolutely emphasized with one to three exclamation points.”

After further delving into the topic I found that not many woman masturbate but a lot of women actually want to. The trends seem to be they either don't know how, they think it's 'gross' and should be left to men (haha!), and quite a large amount of women admitted to assuming that they should be passive, naive, and dependent when it comes to sex as women are never really taught otherwise.

I was 17 when I bought my first vibrator. I basically just bought it to show it off to my boyfriend at the time who had never made me orgasm and to tell the truth I didn't even believe at that stage that girls could orgasm! After playing around with it for six months I decided to lie down and see if the female orgasm was a myth or not. Much to my surprise it was no myth! Sex education at school covers how to put a condom on a banana and mothers rarely broach the subject with their daughters. But times are changing and women need to realise masturbation is just as natural as sex and allows you to have a better and healthier understanding of sex. If you keep it taboo and quiet, that is when it becomes unhealthy. Sex is an even playing field for both men and women we just need to be more open about the topic and realise that you should be empowered in the bedroom not the opposite.

So for the women out there who are not sure about it here are some of the known health benefits of masturbation:

• Eases some of the symptoms of premenstrual syndrome
• Relief from menstrual cramps
• Muscle relaxation
• Helps you to fall asleep
• Promotes release of the brain’s opioid-like neurotransmitters (endorphins), which cause feelings of physical and mental well-being
• Reduces stress
• Enhances self-esteem.

Some of the known sexual health benefits of masturbation include:

• Solo masturbation is a safe sex practice that carries no risk of sexually transmissible infection and unwanted pregnancy. As part of lovemaking between two people, it is known as ‘mutual masturbation’.
• Sexual tension is released. Masturbation allows a person to express their sexuality by themselves and is valuable if, for example, they don’t have a partner or if sex with their partner isn’t available, or if they want to (or have to) abstain from sex for any reason.
• Being familiar with your own sexual responses allows you to better communicate your wants and needs to your partner.
• Masturbation is a popular treatment for sexual dysfunction; for example, women who don’t orgasm can learn by masturbating.

If you would like information on how to 'just say me' or even to improve your technique the appropriately named Clitical.com has a truck load of information from your anatomy to moral issues to technique. It really is a perfectly natural body function it's not like your taking a mood enhancement drug to reach a level of stimulation... this is what these specific parts of your body are specifically for. It's not wrong if you do do it and it's not wrong if you don't do it. If you like it, great! If you don't, don't do it. It all comes down to personal choice!

CLE